I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
