forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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