i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
