Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
