Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
