I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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