I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
