She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
