I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Congratulations! We have a period
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
