Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
