You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
