The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
