I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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