We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
