you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
