Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We named our party play list daddy issues
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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