I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
