Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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