Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize