The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
