She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize