A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
