porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
