I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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