Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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