capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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