Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I cut my penus on the lid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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