new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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