wanna go halves on a baby?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
