my sisters under your porch take her home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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