the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
