Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
