did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
