I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
