the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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