i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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