Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
