boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
