If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
