tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
