Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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