thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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