dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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