sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
