I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
