I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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