Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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