sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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