took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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