I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
