perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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