you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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