I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
