High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
