I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
