Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
A+ Viking dick
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
