i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
