Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
