doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
