Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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